I had drama for two years in high school. I’m talking about the class here, not being in a state of unnecessary emotional upheaval. That was the full 4 years.
I really enjoyed our drama class. Most of our plays were pretty hokey or strange, and I didn’t really see eye-to-eye with the teacher (especially when I stood on my desk) but I made some great friends and learned a lot through it.
Having been in drama, I know a bit about performance.
It’s an unusual part of creativity. It’s fascinating, really, how a musician can play the same song over and over or a broadway actor can portray the same character for many years yet not tire of it.
Perhaps it is the slight differences that occur each time they take the stage.
Maybe it’s how they find ways to make alterations of their own to every presentation.
I know that in drama each show we put on had a life of its own. Whether mistakes, ad-libs, or crowd’s response, each performance was unique.
Most attempts at creativity are, in some sense, a performance. No audience necessary.
You convince yourself to go at it again, to try once more, with feeling, even when it often just feels to you like the same old thing.
But then, there it is, that new little unexpected something. And you’re all giddy once more and excited to let the show go on.
Or maybe you’re terribly nervous every time you begin. I know I was. My whole body would shake before crossing that curtain and stepping into the glare of the stage lights.
Maybe I’ll totally blow it this time, maybe I’ll ruin the whole show and everyone will hate me.
But, every time, once I started acting, started moving and speaking, all those fears melted away like morning dew. Then I had fun.
I felt the same way, to a lesser extent, when I used to play guitar for the high school group at my church. Once I started playing, everything just felt right and I forgot about myself. Even if I did mess up (and I surely did) I just played on and didn’t fret about it.
I hope Creativity is like that for you. Though dull routine or the grip of fear may tempt you to stay back, I hope you step out once more into the bright lights and discover things falling into place once more, in a way you hoped they would but are still surprised every time it happens.